The Supernatural

  Hey folks! 

    Today, I wanted to cover a question that I've been thinking a lot about lately. That question is: "What are the attributes of the best marriage?" I’ve been thinking a lot about this because I am trying to prepare for marriage myself and I want to be prepared to make it the best it can be. I'm sure many of you have been in the same situation and have wondered the same thing. I'd like to share some insights today that hopefully will help some of you who are feeling the same way.

    When I originally thought about the perfect marriage, I would think about things like good communication, serving each other, being trustworthy, being honest, etc. These are all good things but looking at the thousands of marriages that end even with all of these aspects in place made me think a little more into it. I've come to a theory that a healthy marriage requires more than just the basics that everyone thinks about. It requires more than the natural course of courtship and love that we as humans take. It requires the supernatural!

    This theory was inspired by one of my professors who talked about the need for supernatural or extraordinary relationships. Now, this doesn't mean that one the best of the best or the most special of people can have a successful relationship. It means that each of us must do more than we are naturally inclined to do. This means doing things that don't necessarily come easily or that make us uncomfortable. This could be making changes in the way we think and operate, or it could be putting in extra effort to make sure your partner knows you love them. There are many ways we can be extraordinary.

    One specific way that I wanted to focus on is the way we think as humans. Everyone has their own way of thinking and their own rules that they subconsciously follow. These can benefit us, or they can hurt us and those around us. An example of this from my own mind is something that I learned growing up. I learned that you should never show weakness or struggle and you should always show your best face, even if that’s not how it really was. I grew up thinking that this was the best way to protect yourself and be successful. I now realize that it hurt me and kept me from creating healthy relationships with others. The thing that I've realized being with my fiancé is those things can be changed. These learned behaviors don't have to stay with us. I've felt myself, through lots of effort and struggle, changing this and many other ways of thinking. My relationship with my fiancé has become something other than just a normal, natural relationship. It has become supernatural.

    This wasn’t easy, and I’ve still got a lot to work on, but I’ve seen the difference between our relationship and all the others that end in disaster. My fears of the future have subsided, and I have full confidence that I, and anyone, can develop and maintain the most successful relationships. I have learned more and more that being different, doing something different, doing more, is necessary in all things if you wish to be successful. It’s all too easy and acceptable to meet just the bare minimum in today’s world, but as we look for things in our lives and ways of thinking that we can change, and put in the work to change those things, we can develop and maintain the best relationships possible. I have truly felt that and hope each of you can experience the same things.